Wednesday, 1 August 2007


Wednesday, August 01, 2007 

... and the living is easy

Fish are jumping and the cotton is high.
Your mamma's rich and your daddy's a test tube
So hush little baby, don't you cry.

B has gone to Scotland for a holiday with the Northern Chapter of my clan. She is booked in for horse riding, boat trips and dancing and is really excited. It clashed with a visit from my friend from da'ahn sa'arf, who I kept up half the night, before we left, jabbering on. I really enjoyed her visit, albeit curtailed. Must do again. My southern mate corrupted B with cash bribes and she has bought a stash of artsy, craftsy raw materials. Everyone will be getting hand made cards and gifts, festooned with shells, for every conceivable event, for the next decade!
B phoned from the ferry, she had a fantastic first night, her cousin, 'Wee one,' (18 months old.) had worn her out in the park and the phone reception, in the Sound of Islay, was not good. We were eventually cut off, as she neared the Paps of Jura. I am left following her exploits, in my imagination. I have spent much of my time looking at Jura related websites.
So for my latest tale of woe:
I was on my way home, having delivered the beautiful, B, to the Scottish contingent. 2 novels, 5 portions of fruit, 3 strong coffees and an unscheduled stop in Preston, later, I was struggling to get off the train, when she who shall not be named saw me and ducked into the nearest shop window, to avoid me. That would've been fine; I didn't see her, I didn't know about it but she had to phone and let me know!
Allegedly, she has to restrain herself. Stop restraining yourself, come and restrain me!
She has to deny herself to save us all from hurt: it's not working! For crying out loud, woman, don't deny yourself; feast and indulge. Life's too short; insert double entendre, as appropriate, here. I don't know about you, but I'm starving.
Apparently, I'm like a puppy dog; every time she sees me, she wants to take me home but she knows that it would be cruel and unfair, because I'd be too much work. For want of an expletive, I'm in a kennel about to be put down; they're going to do an advert for me, on the telly!
I feel like Paddington. "Please look after this bear!" Damned Aunt Lucy.
Hope everyone is enjoying the summer.
KB. x

PS. I'm currently getting wound up about a scheduled BNP Rally, locally that no one seems motivated to oppose.

Off to read Pies and Prejudice: In Search of the North by Stuart Maconie

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